"Going Low" - Top Don's Pick for Olympic Golf 2024

My degenerate community, welcome back to another blog! Now, today we will be discussing Olympic Golf, however I’ve personally boycotted this year's Olympics for three major reasons: 1) The transvestite-ridden opening ceremony that made any non-tranny with a pulse disgusted at the highest level. 2) Biological males fighting in women's boxing. Sure, it's an easy way to make money gambling-wise, but it's morally wrong. 3) The new attire rules for women's volleyball. So, today we’re introducing "The Top Don's Picks," where we get our older Italian relatives to give us their picks. This week, Top Don Pasquale has given me his first pick for public consumption. For the benefit of the people.

Scottie Scheffler: The Golden Boy with 4-1 Odds

Top Don Pasquale isn’t just any old Italian man; he's a goddamn savant when it comes to picking winners. And who does he have his eye on for the Olympic golf tournament? None other than Scottie Scheffler. This man got more talent in his pinky finger than most golfers have in their entire bodies. At odds of 4-1, betting on Scheffler to take the gold isn’t just smart—it’s practically a guaranteed way to print money.

Why Scheffler? Let’s Break It Down

Form: Scheffler’s been on a tear this season. He’s been swinging his club like he’s got a personal vendetta against the golf ball. His form is tighter than a nun's... well, you get the idea. Not to mention he has 6 wins this season on tour.

Stats: The numbers don’t lie. Scottie’s been crushing it when it comes to strokes gained tee - green ranking 1st, and has a driving accuracy that makes other golfers look like they’re playing with blindfolds on. His swing and ball striking is smoother than a mafia boss’s bribe.

Mental Game: This guy’s got nerves of steel. When the pressure’s on, Scheffler doesn’t just hold up—he shines. Picture this: other golfers are out there sweating like they’ve got the FBI on their tail, while Scheffler’s cool calm and collected, sinking birdies like he’s out for a Sunday stroll.

Competitors? More Like Pretenders

Let’s be real, the competition doesn’t stand a chance. Rory McIlroy? Overrated. He’s more inconsistent than your drunk uncle at a family barbecue. Collin Morikawa? Talented, sure, but he doesn’t have the killer instinct. And don’t even get me started on the rest of the field. They’re all just background noise in Scheffler’s symphony of domination.

Betting Tips From the Don: Ride the Scottie Train to Riches

If you’re looking to make some serious coin, put your money on Scheffler. At 4-1 odds, he’s not just a safe bet—he’s the best bet. And if you’re feeling extra lucky, parlay his win with a few other events. Just don’t get too greedy, or you’ll end up like that cousin who thought he could outsmart the slot machines in Vegas or cracked roulette for the 40th time this year.

So there you have it, degenerate bastards. Pasquale’s pick is in, and it’s a surefire winner. Scottie Scheffler for Olympic gold. Place your bets, sit back, and enjoy the show. Just remember, if you lose, you didn’t hear it from me. But if you win, the don expect's a cut. As the Italians say.. Ciao.